Have you travelled by car or train and, on entering a tunnel, looked ahead for the light from the opening at the other end? Working life is a bit like plunging into a tunnel. You are confined by the need to travel to where you work, attend at regular hours, on five or more days a week, and take any holidays at set times, all in order to earn enough money to pay the mortgage or rent, to feed and clothe yourself and family, to keep healthy and provide the necessities of living in a modern age. The walls of the tunnel press in on us and the gloom seems to go on forever. We know there is an end but it appears to recede as we plod on.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel – retirement. And it is like suddenly emerging after years underground. It is a bright new world: we can move in any direction, explore the unfamiliar landscape and take up exciting challenges. For some, the freedom of retirement is frightening – What can I do? What shall I do? What should I do? The temptation is to hide away, avoid decisions, maintain the same old habits and live a quiet life. But this is the time of life when you are free to do whatever you like, and there is a multitude of opportunities out there. How about learning to skydive or paraglide? Study for a Masters or PhD? Take up ballroom dancing? Write a novel or book of poetry? Take acting lessons? Learn to paint or scubadive, become a councillor or a mentor for young people? Don’t let the light at the end of the tunnel blind you to enjoying the best time of life.

In a previous blog – Body and Mind, I pointed out how posture affects how we feel, and vice versa. However, this is more than a daily interaction – how you look after your body now will affect the future of your mind. There is much evidence showing the value of exercise in preventing mental degeneration. It is especially important to keep fit during the earlier years of retirement – regular exercise during the 60s and 70s prevents or delays dementia during later decades. But it is never too late to start. And, the two-way connection between body and mind persists at all stages: keeping physically healthy is the outcome of an active mind which overcomes excuses to avoid exercise!

It is better to stand than sit, to walk than stand, and run than walk (if your joints permit!). If your legs or feet are not capable of fast walking, there is always swimming. Can’t swim? Take some lessons – an excellent challenge for the mind!.

Be a participant rather than a spectator; an actor rather than an audience.

 

Recently, I came across a quotation which we could all learn from:

I don’t sing because I am happy; I am happy because I sing. William James

As a singer, I value this statement, and agree wholeheartedly with the message. However, this has much wider implications than encouraging retirees to join a choir. Our feelings are very much determined by the state of our bodies. Of course, this is especially true if we are suffering pain, but the link is always there.

We need to pay particular attention to posture. As you will be aware already, a sad or depressed person tends to move slowly with hunched shoulders, head bent and eyes looking down to the floor. A happy person walks briskly with shoulders back, head erect and eyes looking ahead. Retired people, going nowhere special, without immediate goals, and time to spare, often walk slowly, with heads down.

The value of the quotation is in explaining that the body shapes the mind. We feel the way we behave. To be happy we need to behave happy. So stand up straight, hold your head high with chin in, look ahead, pull your shoulders back and smile. Then walk with a good action – heel down first, straighten the knees, and spring off the toes. Walk slightly faster than you would if there was plenty of time. It is easy to drop into the ‘retirement shuffle’. So, next time you go for a walk, pay attention to your body and experience how a confident posture makes you feel happier.

So you did all that society expected of you: got an education, found a worthwhile job and worked for 45 or 50 years, reared a family, paid off a mortgage and now you have retired. But retirement feels like a black hole into which you have jumped, or been pushed. Suddenly you have lost your identity as a respected worker; there is no longer any reason to get up early to catch the commuter train or bus; the children have all left home; there is nothing to fill your day except tidying the garden or garage, washing the car, again, or shopping.

In the past, society had expectations of you and yours. Education, work, family and home ownership, were all respectable and valued goals achieved within recognised guidelines. Where are the guidelines for a successful retirement? What does a meaningful retirement look like? The recent expansion of lifetimes to include a quarter spent in retirement has yet to be fully acknowledged by Society – there are no inherent values, widely held expectations or recognised goals. When you retire, you are on your own, adrift, without a destination or a compass.

The Three Rules for Retirement (see previous blog) could have prepared you for this dilemma, otherwise you may find this new existence hard to cope with, even threatening. One person I discussed this with recently described her experience of retirement as ‘weird’. However, you are not alone! The numbers of retired people increases daily and many of them have good advice to offer. So join a club, enroll in a course, challenge yourself, develop new skills and expand your thinking, and make your retirement the best time of your life.

Retirement is a good time to travel and see more of the world. Reasons for travelling vary according to the interests of the traveller. Many tourists are content to be shipped or driven on cruises or tours with a set schedule and accept whatever is arranged for them. For them, travel is more an escape from familiar surroundings and routine chores, and the destinations and activities are of lesser importance. This is epitomised by the old joke of the tourist looking out of the window of the coach and asking what day it is. When told it is Tuesday, she/he says ‘Oh, this must be Rome’. However, tourism is unlikely to produce lasting memories, perhaps only photographs and videos which, unless they are given captions soon after the trip, quickly lose value.

If you travel, rather than tour, you are more likely to create meaning out of the experience. Go with an aim in mind. For example: to befriend people and understand other cultures; learn their histories; create unique personal souvenirs – sketches, paintings, audio recordings, writing, poetry; practice speaking another language; learn to cook different dishes; explore areas off the tourist routes; visit local schools and villages, or learn local crafts.

Of course, travelling involves more risk than touring, but most worthwhile experiences in retirement will require you to step out of your comfort circle.

 

 

 

 

 

There is an important link between colour and mood. Work is a serious activity, for example, so it seems to be important to wear black or other dark colours. Walk through a business district at lunch time and you will see what I mean. Office clothes are mainly black, and this is offset by white shirts or blouses. Black is also the colour commonly worn by older people in Mediterranean countries and, especially by those who have lost a partner. Needless to say, black is also associated with illness and death.

For those who like to avoid ‘dark’, but are not confident about their use of colour, their choice is ‘something neutral’ – beige, grey, off-white, cream, perhaps pale khaki. A way to fade into the background, if that is what you wish.

But retirement is the time to be bold, when one can wear a variety of colours without caring about what others will think. When you rise each morning, decide: Do I feel purple today; or bright green; maybe sunshine yellow? What about some flowers or fruit, or a few feathers? Where did you put that tie-dyed dress you bought in Bali, but never wore? And what about that Hawaiian shirt that’s hiding in the wardrobe?

You are probably aware that if you force yourself to smile, you will start to feel happy. So it is with colour. A happy colour can bring happiness to your day. And to others.

Be outrageous and colour your world, you know you deserve it!

So retirement is not working out for you. You are depressed, bored and needing friends. Perhaps bowls or golf does not appeal. Maybe you are tired of taking coffee at your favourite cafe and reading about all the sadness in the world. And there is never anyone there to talk to anyway.

Have you tried joining a choir?

Singing is a mood stimulant and joining a choir is a great way to tackle loneliness and to make friends. I haven’t sang since I left school, you say. But that is no excuse – if you sang then you can sing now.

Perhaps I can’t sing, you say. Everyone can talk and talking is only adding sound to words, so you can sing.

But I don’t know of any choirs, you say. There are likely to be several in your area, and you could find out when and where they meet, by using the internet. Look for ‘community choirs’ as they are usually keen  to enrol new members and you can join without an audition. Go along, give it a try, and I guarantee you will come away feeling revived and uplifted. Singing results in more oxygen in the bloodstream, the release of endorphins in the brain, and is one of the best ways to overcome depression. And people who sing together become friends together.

Sing your way to happiness in retirement.

These days there’s lots of speculation about other universes and how one might journey out of this one, into another,  through a wormhole or portal.
In a way, retirement is a portal, or it can be. And as in science fiction, to make remarkable journeys, you need imagination. The known universe for most of our lives has been work, family, mortgage and the routine chores of cleaning, shopping, gardening and house maintenance. It has been difficult to think of an alternative existence. And yet, if retirement is regarded as moving on to a new life, anything is possible.  All it takes is imagination and the courage to leave the old ways behind.
Off you go! A new universe awaits you.

If you haven’t, I am talking about the University of the Third Age (U3A). And if you are not acquainted with U3A you are missing an important opportunity to enrich your life in retirement. No, it is not a university, but more like evening classes that are held in the daytime.

This organisation, which was started in France, offers a wide range of courses for a small, single yearly fee. The classes are held in various sites all over Australia and overseas. The classes are organised and presented by unpaid volunteers. If you join U3A you can attend any number of courses.

The course topics vary widely from learning foreign languages, for example, to history, old films, philosophy, science, creative writing, art, pottery, discussion groups, walking groups, book clubs, and poetry. There is something for everyone. U3A provides the opportunity to both learn and to meet other retirees with similar interests.

And, of course, if you have expertise in a certain area that would be of interest to others, you could volunteer to teach a course.

Contact details for your branch of U3A are available through the internet.

There is no reason to sit at home, bored with routine, join U3A and start a new life!

No, we’re not talking about a suspect in a police investigation, but about you. Are you an interesting person? What are your interests? When other people talk about you do they say anything more than: She/he is ‘very nice’?

Every day one passes a multitude of older people in the street or in the aisles at the supermarket and most leave no impression. Yet children and teenagers usually attract a glance at least. Do we lose our characters when we grow old? Or are we afraid of being different, of attracting attention? Would you describe yourself as: Very quiet. Keeping a low profile? And do you say to others: I don’t like to make waves. I keep myself to myself?

Of course, how you behave in retirement is entirely your business. However, the possibility that a large proportion of the public think they should remain invisible merely because they are older and retired is worrying. We have much to contribute to society – knowledge, experience, wisdom, creativity, tolerance, humour and so on. But the possibility of us making a contribution will be ignored unless we make ourselves known. Become involved as a volunteer in areas such as education, health, politics, environment, or entertainment. By being interested you can become a person of interest.