Have you looked at birthday cards appropriate to your age? Make a visit to your local newsagent and see what is offered. Why is this necessary you ask? Well, my 80th is coming up fast and I wanted to know what sort of stuff would be coming my way. In the shops I checked, there were several cards for 70 year-olds, fewer for 80-year-olds, a couple for those who have reached 90 years and perhaps one for centenarians. So the first expectation of card manufacturers and newsagents is that we will nearly all be gone by 100 years. This expectation is out of date as I pointed out in one of my first posts – we are all living longer and most can expect 20, 30 or more years after retirement.
This outdated expectation is backed up by the messages in the cards. They are mostly about Congratulations you’ve made it this far, and We hope you have a good day (at least one). I have yet to see one that actually says: ‘Are you still here?‘, but that is what is implied. And why all the reverence? Does being older result in loss of a sense of humour?
Interestingly, there are no cards for the years between the later decades. Perhaps we are expected to remain out of sight and out of mind until the next big event!
Birthday cards for the young contain good wishes for the future. We mature oldies also have a future, it is exciting, and we would like others to anticipate and celebrate it, rather than dwell on the past. NOstalgia gets you NOwhere.
I also want to challenge the language of those who have yet to face the reality of ageing. Here are some of the expressions and my response:
- ‘He’s (she’s) good for his (her) age‘ How would you know? Change your expectations
- ‘This (a birthday) is a milestone’ Which implies a journey, which implies an end, which is….
- ‘He’s/she’s on the ball’ Why not? Aren’t you?
- ‘He hasn’t lost his marbles‘ Whatever they are. Why would he? Where are yours?
- ‘Hale and hearty’ Unnecessary repetition
- ‘Chipper’ The expression is supposed to be derived from ‘kipper’ – a dead, preserved, odoriferous fish
- ‘He’s/she’s very spry’ Compared with what? A dead horse?
- ‘This is a day to celebrate’ Why? Because he/she is still here?
- My favourite: ‘He’s old… but he’s very clean!’ From that wonderful old show Steptoe and Son.
There, I feel much better having got that off my chest! I am sure you have also been the target of other irritating expressions. Why not share them with us.
Renaissance not Retirement 